~ Communion ~
As the last Volume of Poems of Love and Light: Of Magick, Masks, and Masquerades started out, the progressive relationship, filled with its aspects of the Magickal, of awareness, the metaphysical and the mundane, marked a water-shed for the Muse and I. All we had been through, all we were still facing, was slowly, ever so slowly, developing into a more or less even and understood intention. This was made easier to bear, as the Muse, Herself, was, ineluctably, being drawn into the understanding, from her own sense, and realization of, what the circumstances and decisions that She had made – or had let Life make for her, was bringing to bear.
During this time, getting on into Winter, the fluctuation between ‘knowing her way’, and ‘not knowing her way’, was that push-and-pull energy, that energy, which never seems to find an even keel. There was little time for any real, calm, and deliberate intentions that would either solve, or resolve, the issues that the Muse was facing in Her life; this made my ability to aid, direct, or support her, in any substantial way.
The Muse needed to do this, all on Her own.
Of course, in the real world, that mundane environment, where magick can only exist if both individuals are aligned, as one cannot, no matter how gifted with this energy and intention, can sustain this effort, alone, without the other. So, as the world crept in around the both of us, the Muse did what she felt she had to do, and I took the lesser path, the do-nothing path, as She wanted, and I knew, from this point on, that the onus and criticism would be directed at me. This did not take long to happen.
As I was, from the start, almost an invisible character to those around me, the Muse needing to maintain a certain modicum of public privacy, kept close too, and with me in those moments of passion and partnership, but when exposed, would not communicate with others, close friends and family, of the intentions and relationship between us. I was prepared to take what criticism was warranted in certain cases, but the Muse on only a few occasions, actually spoke up, to correct and explain her intentions, thereby giving me a little support and foundation to fall back on.
This was all a part of this path, and I was not overly worried or susceptible, to these slings and arrows of life’s making.
The process that the Muse maintained, that which would steady her, and see her through, was working, but affected a much larger area than I thought right; but things tend to work out or no.
In-between all this, there were moments of intense conversation about how things were going, and in this process, which I am more familiar, the Muse would retreat, afraid, and instead of facing what I was bringing, or even better, taking my suggestions or observations, as appropriate, would consider these moments as a ‘confrontation’, as ‘rude’, or not listening to ‘her’. This was exasperating, and there where many times that I just did not care about the way She wanted to be balanced, to not hurt the feelings of others, and to balanced -this was a point that, in certain situations, just sent me away.
The missive below, was one delivered by the Muse to me, in relation to my departure, and the way in which there was a void created between us, was terrible to the both of us.
It was a tender reach of Her hand. It was warm and passionate, with just a touch of Grey.
It was to begin the Fire and Flood.