~ Romance And Reunion ~
This piece brings up vivid memories, from early in the process of the Muse and I.
To the casual reader, it may not seem clear, the meanings of Magick, desire, passion, partnership, metaphysics, synchronicity and the like, but I hope that some of these words will resonate. The world of magick, to some, is only that natural and spontaneous energy, which is brought to bear in those moments, unasked for, which transforms one’s life, indeed, life itself, is transformed; this has a significant bearing upon how one responds to either the mundane environment, or to the elements of bonding, fate, and Love.
One cannot live either one, piecemeal.
One embraces the magick, and stays there, or one is drawn into an abyss of categories, schedules, and misunderstandings. When this happens, we are mere humans again, and the conflicts and diffused intentions, become greater than the sum of its parts. So it was, in this case:
Both the Muse and I, separately, had plans to attend functions in the same area, this was far from our homes, in the larger City, yet were to be just minutes away from one another. She was to go with a girlfriend of long acquaintance, to a large musical venue outdoors, and I was to attend, and give some interviews between musicians of some note.
The Muse, when left alone with certain of her female friends, was wont to ‘let it all hang out’, and at this time, liked to drink. She was always present, especially when She had a sense of freedom, and random occurrences, whatever the stripe, were ‘amazing’ to her. This was problematic. Be that as it may, the weekend passed, and through an acquaintance, I was asked to participate in a professional recording session in Hollywood. I was to share a common setting with some very famous people, and I wanted the Muse to participate as well. We set up a schedule, and I was imperative that we meet before going in. This was agreed.
It did not, of course, turn out this way.
The Muse is certain of herself in many ways, and this venue was common to her; yet I was the one to demarcate the plan. Yes, I had my reasons. One of those reasons, was to make sure that I was able to introduce her to the owner of the Studio, and the individual who was the creator of this large event.
Upon arriving, She was nowhere to be found.
From this point on, I was unable to recoup the original plan: She made her own introductions, created jealousy and protective maneuvers, which negated her introductions, and even though both of us engaged in the studio production, the evening was a disaster.
This was, as well, the first time I had raised my voice to her. This type of ‘confrontation’ did not sit well with the Muse, after all, she was capable, had always taken the lead in her previous domestic life, and at that time, specifically, had a very large sense of entitlement. In other words, she was definitely used to having her own way. But, then, so was I!
The Muse has faced this type of circumstance several times since our introduction, and she does not do well; in fact, it brings to her, a great sense of devastation, the sense of a loss of control, as she is wont to project that simple, yet very strong and directed, sense of ‘calmness’, a discipline more than a personality trait generally, and seeks to ‘steer’ a conversation, generally.
In my case, however, I am inclined to follow a point, one in which I am knowledgeable about, and will press the issue, if it is clear that my way is best – this, of course, is simple personal dynamics – and She would feel the same about her position. When pressed, however, to balance perspectives, she would usually take the position, passive aggressively, and then not fully understanding my point of view, would withdraw, and appear to be devastated.
This was no exception.
We left each other, not speaking well, and this was to last for several days.
The Muse is good, very good with, what I call, the Silent Knife. She will separate for days, and one never will know what really is on her mind, or how she is actually faring, as in the silence, there is absolutely no awareness of what she is experiencing. This is not good for me, as I require resolution, and I want it now, as any delay is only that, which would hurt us both even more. It should be noted, that I am the one who has, and is, the pro-active element between us, especially during situations like this. In this mode, however, one can only be so assertive, and so it did take quite some time to come to a point that we were able to talk to each other; it was the Muse who traveled to our usual place of contact in nature, and was also the intimate and delicate place, of reunion.
In juxtaposition to this reunion, another event transpired in the same span of time: The Muse and I collaborated for the first time, spontaneously, and created the first part of a new Song – Twilight Dreams.
This has proved to be a much adored piece, by all who have heard it. This proves, as well, that if two people allow, even under extreme positions, to be open to one another, the magick will remain, and nothing can keep them from understanding and loving each other.
As long as reunion is able to take place, the lives of Lover’s is certain.
~ On Romance and Reunion ~
( Remembering the Fire and Flood)
The growth and pain, felt deep within
Has brought a feeling of uncertainty
Disagreement and confusion –
Intentions becoming mired in conflict.
A space in time is what you said you needed
Not sure yourself of just what to do
A life filled with chaos and storm –
Uncertain of this days hold on you.
Work on your life is what you have to do
The twilight of love
Not lost on you –
Wanting to grow, wanting it slow.
Emotions come to me
High and low
But wanting you more
I take the upper road
(not always the right thing to do).
When you are given a space in time
You live your life with abandon
Not giving our state
Your full attention.
Don’t you know how it is for me
The separation and silence
An offense to my dignity –
Your obligations a convenient escape.
So, I relent and put you away
The days and days are filled with
Unnecessary expectations –
The missing you more, an arrow, my heart has pierced.
(Life’s Stage is now reset)
A day comes not so distant
You say you will meet
The passion from my lips
The mist in your eyes so sweet.