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~ Fire and Flood ~



Poems of Love and Light: Fire and Flood, continues to bring the ongoing epic between two people, the Muse and I.

The path and process, that which brings two lovers together, is myriad in its personalities, and in its machinations. For this reason, this ongoing Work is more than simply poetry or prose. The possibilities in any relationship are unique, as each personality brings a whole life (no matter the age) with them, and this includes, as the previous Work presented, many masks by which to hide behind, to protect oneself, from many things, as varied as the mind can, and does, bring with it.

Personality, by definition, is the center of oneself. It is the harbinger of all the darkness, and the light, which makes up that individual. Strange, is it not, that no matter how well we think we know ourselves, in those quiet moments, or those moments of fire, we give a little more of ourselves away; and if that special person in one’s life is aware, or is gifted with such talents to see deeper, or should I say differently, than the other, then a better understanding of oneself, may be realized.

Observation can, then, be seen as criticism, and as the Muse is wont to say, “it is in the delivery,” that makes this type of inter-personal relationship so delicate, and so important, in matters of Love.

This is all part of a process.

We all have needs, this has been stated before. It is possible to be aware of these needs, if one simply sees the manner and intention of this need; after that, if this need is not met, or if the need is seen, but not respected or nourished, then a cycle of resentment occurs. Moreover, habits have much to do with personality, and certain habits, like locking oneself into boxes, or being completely self-absorbed, estranging the other party, keeping them alone, and not sharing with their beloved, the precious moments of happiness, of anticipation, of hope in the future, does not bode well for intimate longevity.

These are elements of the process. These are elements, which require, as has been said before, that passionate obsession that is the mortar in-between the blocks of any foundation, especially when it comes to passion and love.

The Muse and I, at this point, had gone through more than any normal couple would have experienced in lifetime, as each day, in reality, was worth a year, as the dynamics, wants and needs, the intensity and awareness, the shackles and chains, the adventure of Life, was compacted, held in a unique container, where we were allowed to drink, but sparingly, and with restraint.

When the Masks started to come off, the intensity increased, not increased, as the Goddess seemed to have other plans, while always giving us, the Muse and I, ample time and opportunity, to know one another, as the intimacy, the lengthy conversations, and the plumbing of the depths of the great things in life – we did not talk about people, or social events, but in ideas, of matters of consequence and cultural importance – those things which allow for heartfelt displays of emotion, of ideology and world-views. No great love affair, or any love affair worth having, will be devoid of these interactions. How could they be?

For the Muse and I, a deep and complex conversation, was the best  of aphrodisiacs.

This, of course, is based on unique personalities, but the point is, that two people must find, and latch on, to those elements of desire, which bring on a continuing and growing realization about the other. These moments were not infrequent, and it was at this level, that I wished to keep the Muse. Her free-flow of interaction, while intimate and alone together, was music to my soul, and now it was simply a matter of getting Her to carry this to the outside, to the mundane, to establish a real and heartfelt ‘daily life’, a life where this interplay, would start to accrue naturally, fostered by a sense of unity between us. It remains a constant endeavor.

Of course, I have my issues, and when it comes to the Muse, while still difficult and unnatural at times, has not been overbearing. for the most part. Not too long ago, She became aware of certain of my observations,  those that I had written down, and early that morning, had a touching few moments, sharing missives and tokens of our affections; She was on a excursion, something that She longed to do, and was very preoccupied with many things, but had promised to stay in touch. She did this. After reading the thoughts I expressed however, the time that She normally contacted[1] me, came and went. Knowing Her, one became aware of these little power-plays, and She did not keep her consistent communication, and thereby trying to establish whatever control issues She was constantly applying, at least to me. What does this mean? This question, like so many others that people experience, will answer itself in time. This is also part of  Love and Light.

Remember, all this is retrospective, and the times and moments in-between, were magickal.

Let me say, in so many words, that the Muse, like none other, filled our days with sunshine and moonlight. Her voice carries a lilt, an inflection, a tone, that is both erotic, graceful, intelligent, and has a pitch that rises and falls when exited or deep, happy or sad, which is intoxicating.

When one feels the fevered breath, or the inhalation when held in thrall by deep passion, it is indescribable. I am doing the best that I am able.

The Muse is capable of kindness, indeed, She is kind. There are times, however, that this innocence can be a vicious incarnation of emotions. She does it quietly, hardly raising her voice, but the bite and sting are great; I may become loud, imperative, and this can distress Her. She does not understand, in my case, that it is simply the intentions and words that either uplift or destroy – not really in the delivery, which is so overly important to Her.

Her passion is great. In all ways.

Even now, I can feel her lips and teeth on me. Her scent, like none other.

This was all part of the Fire and Flood.

The times together were becoming more frequent, and a four month period ensued, which was both beautifully intense, as well as simply beautiful. Our walks together all but dried up; the magick, which had so sustained me, was passing. The Muse seemed to take it all in stride, as Her life was important and deep to her. She had things she must do. Had to do. Therefore, it was painfully clear that I would have to do what was necessary, to keep Her on an even keel, as it were. The ship might flounder, if not for calm seas.

All of the moments previous, the Grove, the Ocean air, the intimate moments, infused with a thousand needles, are the stuff of great moments, of the great affairs between Lovers. These are the moments that bring great lives to fruition, that bring Life, too life.

You have not simply changed my life, my love, but have started to transform it. This I allow. This I embrace. It remains to be seen, just how far you are willing, to do the same.

Frank L. DeSilva

May, 2014



[1] Lest someone take this wrong, it was the established methodology of the Muse, to take to scheduling, and would constantly use these various nuances, to make it clear that “we/you did not make that arrangement,” and so, at my suggestion, as She was reticent to provide for a normal interactive intention, these moments were planned. This always put the matter in my hands, so at my suggestion, a consistent  schedule was created – otherwise, the Muse would consider it “and expectation.”She never did call that night. FLS